Sometimes the Past is Past. (Or, How to Put Your Behind in the Past)

Sometimes, no matter how great the past was, it's the past and it's gone forever.

Back in the day (WAY back in the day) my high school had what would now laughably be called a computer lab. We had about 25 Atari 8-bit computers (a mix of 400 and 800 models) that we used to learn how to type, budget, write, program, and (though they didn't know it) play games. This isn't about those computers. I still have a working Atari 400 and a working Atari 800 (and countless other older computers) This is about the other thing in the lab. 

Coffee, Neurosis, and wit.

 

When I power-watch a TV series that I have already been through any number of times one of two things happens. Either I mostly ignore it, knowing exactly what is going to be said by whom and when, using it as background noise or filler. Or I pay extra attention to it wringing out new meanings, new details, and little in-jokes that I somehow missed the previous times through the show. 

Decision Making Paradigm re-evaluated.

 

So while I had hoped that I was done writing about friendships it turns out I am not. 

Time to re-evaluate my decision-making paradigm...

Rita Mae Brown, in her 1983 book "Sudden Death" wrote, "Unfortunately, Susan didn't remember what Jane Fulton once said, 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.'”

When the fall is all there is...

One of my favorite movie scenes of all time is from "The Lion in Winter" (1968) (and 2003 for that matter...) when Geoffrey, Richard, and John are in the dungeon waiting on the king to come for them. They have a little back and forth and Richard is going on about how he is going to meet his death. There is an interchange between them that I really like a lot. It goes like this:

Richard: He'll get no satisfaction out of me. He isn't going to see me beg.

Geoffrey: Why you chivalric fool—as if the way one fell down mattered.

Richard: When the fall is all there is, it matters.

The Inner Light

 

I recently watched the Star Trek The Next Generation episode "The Inner Light" (Season 5 episode 25). This is far from the first time as it is one of my very favorites from the series. This time however it started me thinking and if you know me at all there are only two possible outcomes of my thinking: Very BAD things happen or very PROFOUND things happen. I guess you will need to read on to see which it was this time...

Short Fiction, the Internet, and Everything.

I have been reading what you would call short fiction since I was very young (is there anything that more epitomizes short fiction than a Little Golden Book?)  and I was probably 9 or 10 years old when I got my first magazine. I am reasonably sure it was a copy of Asimov's Science Fiction magazine; I still have a couple issues from back then, though not all of the ones I read by any means.

To have lived through some of the heydays of fantasy and sci-fi short fiction and the magazine boom only to then to see it falter, almost disappear completely, and then start to recover was an interesting experience.

Out In The World

Every day on my way to work and then back home from work I see people out in the world.

They look like they are having fun, doing things, living lives. 

Changing Sentiment

When I was a kid a bookstore was a magical place. A holy place. Full of action and adventure, science, and imagination.

Every trip to one of my local bookstores was something I looked forward to like a vacation.

Is a writer still a writer if he isn't writing?

For the last year or so (if I'm honest, nearly two years now) writing has been far more difficult than it should be. By writing, I mean anything that requires putting words in a cunning order. Be that blog posts, letters, novels, or really anything. I managed to complete NaNoWriMo 2017, but it was torture and well, quite poorly written. For NaNoWriMo 2018 I never got past 14k words. 

I have always considered myself a writer, not because I had published anything or because I was always writing something, but because I loved writing. Whenever the opportunity presented itself I would write happily away into the night. whether it was instructions on some process or system for work, a letter to someone, a short story, a blog post, or anything the words just poured out (not always good, but easily). This is no longer the case.

NaNoWriMo Once and Again.

Last November I participated in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and was a winner. This was the first time since I was in middle school (7th grade maybe) that I had completed anything I had started writing. 

Musical Moods, Songs and Such.

That's the complete list of the songs that are currently on my mood playlist, the songs I turn to daily. These are the songs that mean the most to me right now and I hope you enjoyed them.

The Moods of Songs: I See Fire

I See Fire

Ed Sheeran

Song 12 of 12

Oh, misty eye of the mountain below

Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls

And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke

Keep watching over Durin's son

The Moods of Songs: Secrets

Secrets

The Piano Guys

Tiffany Alvord

(Originally by One Republic)

Song 11 of 12

I need another story

Something to get off my chest

My life gets kinda boring

Need something that I can confess

The Moods of Songs: Let Her Go

Let Her Go

Jasmine Thompson

Originally by Passenger

Song 10 of 12

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

The Moods of Songs: All I Want

All I Want

Kodaline

Song 9 of 12

All I want is nothing more

To hear you knocking at my door

'Cause if I could see your face once more

I could die a happy man I'm sure

The Moods of Songs: Break My Bones

Break my Bones

John Taylor

Song 8 of 12

You can say what you like

I'll pay you no mind

Cause I've heard it before

A thousand times

The Moods of Songs: Antidote

Antidote

Faith Marie

Song 7 of 12

Finding refuge in my own lies
How are you I'm doing alright
Small talk is a great disguise
Just let me be just let me be
Empty thoughts start to crowd my mind
Am I only living, living to survive?
Shake it off but I've lost the drive
Just let me be just let me be
let me be okay

The Moods of Songs: Almost Lover

Almost Lover

A Fine Frenzy
Song 6 of 12

Your fingertips across my skin

The palm trees swaying in the wind

Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies

The sweetest sadness in your eyes

Clever trick

The Moods of Songs: Maybe

Maybe

Ingrid Michaelson

Song 5 of 12

I don't wanna be the one to say goodbye

But I will, I will, I will

I don't wanna sit on the pavement while you fly

But I will, I will, oh yes I will

'Cause maybe in the future, you're gonna come back